September 6, 2009

Hi there folks.

The radiation has been completed for a week. WOW! That new hospital system, IMC, is unbelievable! Great people and fantastic processes! For example, the radiation process takes 15 minutes and very easy for patients to get in and out. It is a well oiled process.

This past week has been eventful. We've made a transition to another doctor in our ecologist's office that helps more with symptom and pain management instead of treatment to kill the cancer. The main problem right now is that pressure on Denise's brain is causing confusion, speech and motor skill issues. She can't communicate very well. She struggles with that because she can't take care of her family as she would want to do. Even in this situation, her personality, the way she has been raised, and the "Mom" in her, instinctually makes it all about her family and not about her. Throughout this three year process, her biggest concern and fear is that she will eventually not be able to take care of her girls.

Although much of this is sad and it is not fun to look forward to what is coming down the pike, there are also fun things to break up the ickyiness. It's fun to chuckle with the girls when Denise does something such as laying out a half loaf of bread to make peach sandwiches. HUH?!

We have begun some steroid medication with the intent that the swelling in her brain will decrease and she will be able to get her mental capacity back. The jury is out on that plan. My biggest hope is that this will work for a while as there are many things I should have done or said to Denise. It is shocking to me that even though she and I have been very connected with each other over these three years, that I allowed this brain thing to sneak up on us so fast. We have understood the last year that the cancer would take her life. I always thought that we would be able to see that coming as her health decreased. I never figured that I would be blindsided by brain functions that would take her communication abilities away before we knew it. I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that the medication will work enough to get some of that in.

Last week I was released from the Bishop position and have really enjoyed being around more. Oven the past several months I haven't been going to needed meetings (thanks to my councilors that did so much of that) but now I don't have the worry in my head about what is not getting done, or who did I forget to call, or what important thing have I neglected. I will certainly miss much of what the calling offered to me individually, but other things I will not miss.

Finally, some of you have asked about how "the room" is coming. We have had an uncompleted room off the kitchen since the day we moved in 15 years ago. I finally made the decision to get this done with the main intent to give Denise a comfortable place to relax other than laying in bed. One of my worst fears is that I am too late to have Denise enjoy this as she should have been able to. Only time will tell . I will try to post a few pictures along the way for those who are interested.